The 19 Characteristics of Abraham Maslow’s Self-Actualizer

My favourite Brian Johnson of Philosopher's Notes sent this out today. I love, love, love it. So take a look very briefly, at the 19 Characteristics of Abraham Maslow’s Self-Actualizer:

Perception of Reality
These individuals tend to have a “superior relationship with reality” and are “generally unthreatened and unfrightened by the unknown.” In fact, “They accept it, are comfortable with it, and, often are even more attracted by it than by the known. They not only tolerate the ambiguous and unstructured--they like it.”

Acceptance
“Even the normal member of our culture feels unnecessarily guilty or ashamed about too many things and has anxiety in too many situations. Our healthy individuals find it possible to accept themselves and their own nature without chagrin or complaint or, for that matter, without even thinking about the matter that much.”

Spontaneity
The behavior of the self-actualizing individual is “marked by simplicity and naturalness, and by lack of artificiality or straining for effect.”

Problem Centering
Self-actualizers customarily have some “mission in life.”

Solitude
Self-actualizing individuals “positively like solitude and privacy to a definitely greater degree than the average person.”

Autonomy
“They have become strong enough to be independent of the good opinion of other people, or even of their affection. The honors, the status, the rewards, the popularity, the prestige, and the love they can bestow must have become less important than self-development and inner growth.”

Fresh Appreciation
“Self-actualizing people have the wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder and even ecstasy, however stale these experiences may have become to others.”

Peak Experiences
It’s been called “flow” or “being in the zone.” Whatever you want to call it, self-actualizers tend to experience it more often than average.

Human Kinship
“Self-actualizing people have a deep feeling of identification, sympathy, and affection for human beings in general. They feel kinship and connection, as if all people were members of a single family.” “Self-actualizing individuals have a genuine desire to help the human race.”

Humility and Respect
All of Maslow’s subjects “may be said to be democratic people in the deepest sense...they can be friendly with anyone of suitable character, regardless of class, education, political belief, race or color. As a matter of fact it often seems as if they are not aware of these differences, which are for the average person so obvious and so important.”

Interpersonal Relationships
“Self-actualizing people have these especially deep ties with rather few individuals. Their circle of friends is rather small. The ones that they love profoundly are few in number.”

Ethics
“They do right and do not do wrong. Needless to say, their notions of right and wrong and of good and evil are often not the conventional ones.”

Means and Ends
“They are fixed on ends rather than on means, and means are quite definitely subordinated to these ends.”

Humor
“They do not consider funny what the average person considers to be funny. Thus they do not laugh at hostile humor (making people laugh by hurting someone) or superiority humor (laughing at someone else’s inferiority) or authority-rebellion humor (the unfunny, Oedipal, or smutty joke).”

Creativity
“This is a universal characteristic of all the people studied or observed. There is no exception.”

Resistance to Enculturation
“Of all of them it may be said that in a certain profound and meaningful sense they resist enculturation and maintain a certain inner detachment from the culture in which they are immersed.”

Imperfections
Actualizers “show many of the lesser human failings. They too are equipped with silly, wasteful, or thoughtless habits. They can be boring, stubborn, irritating. They are by no means free from a rather superficial vanity, pride, partiality to their own productions, family, friends, and children. Temper outbursts are not rare.”

Values
“A firm foundation for a value system is automatically furnished to self-actualizers by their philosophic acceptance of the nature of self, of human nature, of much of social life, and of nature and physical reality.”

Resolution of Dichotomies
“The dichotomy between selfishness and unselfishness disappears altogether in healthy people because in principle every act is both selfish and unselfish.”

So are you a self-actualizer, darling? Think about it and let me know.

Balancing the Hilton and the Hepburn in you

Things haven’t been too good these days, what with many actress tantrums, beauty shoots and much much more. But what else is keeping me busy you ask? This book, called How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World. Honestly speaking, it made me think a lot on the whys and hows of making a perfect woman.

Much homework later, I realized that it just released in India and is already making waves. But since no one else will give you the right review (Trust me, I’ve read it online and in a one-page review in Mumbai Mirror), I will take a baton and give you the verdict. First things first, this is a good book, in terms of looks with all it’s nice charming classic black dress and the drapery of pearls. Look closer and you might even applaud the readable fonts, the little tips and the empowering notes. But what you don’t notice is the condescending tone, the 1950s guide to pleasing a man and a whole load of prim and propah-ness that is absolutely unnecessary in this world. It’s basically a whole load of lessons on how to live in a boring-classic-graceful style and that would be embracing the look-alike mentality in my opinion.

I’ve never been a big fan of Audrey Hepburn. All thanks to the lady for having a style of her own and commanding attention, but these days, the reason why we fall for many eccentric idols, is because we understand the meaning of being different. Not just different, but we’re looking for someone whose ideas of expressing themselves are totally unique. Once we identify those who pop our champagne, we will only take up a few of their characteristics and mix-match it with out own to altogether make a new cocktail. But no, this is exactly what the book dissuades you to do. It wants you to be a housewife with decorum, but make sure you do it in classic style, and making sure you’re respectable before your peers. That said, I must compliment the good things I learnt from the book. So, here we go:

Flashing, getting drunk and not knowing how you got a tweety tattoo on your butt is just NOT cool anymore

Self-respect is a much-undervalued gift. Keep it, don’t toss it around for everyone to trample upon it

You cannot, absolutely cannot, derive your value from what others think of you. Period.

Making a smart girl list. Make a list of all things that you want to do for yourself.

Hard work, good ethics and big dreams are non-negotiable.

Choosing friends who bring out the best in you. Not vice-versa.

You gotta stop playing mind games with the boys. Do your thing and he will come.

Dressing your age, it isn’t about other people but you. Dress smartly but choose what suits your bosy.

Less is always more. But sometimes more is also more when it comes to accessorizing.

That aside, Jordan Christy, the author of the book must understand that thongs, dancing on top of the bar table, facebook lives and outrageous behaviour is good as long as it’s not harming anyone.

Picture Courtesy: Manga art by Tamtamchan. I love Manga.