Balancing the Hilton and the Hepburn in you

Things haven’t been too good these days, what with many actress tantrums, beauty shoots and much much more. But what else is keeping me busy you ask? This book, called How to be a Hepburn in a Hilton World. Honestly speaking, it made me think a lot on the whys and hows of making a perfect woman.

Much homework later, I realized that it just released in India and is already making waves. But since no one else will give you the right review (Trust me, I’ve read it online and in a one-page review in Mumbai Mirror), I will take a baton and give you the verdict. First things first, this is a good book, in terms of looks with all it’s nice charming classic black dress and the drapery of pearls. Look closer and you might even applaud the readable fonts, the little tips and the empowering notes. But what you don’t notice is the condescending tone, the 1950s guide to pleasing a man and a whole load of prim and propah-ness that is absolutely unnecessary in this world. It’s basically a whole load of lessons on how to live in a boring-classic-graceful style and that would be embracing the look-alike mentality in my opinion.

I’ve never been a big fan of Audrey Hepburn. All thanks to the lady for having a style of her own and commanding attention, but these days, the reason why we fall for many eccentric idols, is because we understand the meaning of being different. Not just different, but we’re looking for someone whose ideas of expressing themselves are totally unique. Once we identify those who pop our champagne, we will only take up a few of their characteristics and mix-match it with out own to altogether make a new cocktail. But no, this is exactly what the book dissuades you to do. It wants you to be a housewife with decorum, but make sure you do it in classic style, and making sure you’re respectable before your peers. That said, I must compliment the good things I learnt from the book. So, here we go:

Flashing, getting drunk and not knowing how you got a tweety tattoo on your butt is just NOT cool anymore

Self-respect is a much-undervalued gift. Keep it, don’t toss it around for everyone to trample upon it

You cannot, absolutely cannot, derive your value from what others think of you. Period.

Making a smart girl list. Make a list of all things that you want to do for yourself.

Hard work, good ethics and big dreams are non-negotiable.

Choosing friends who bring out the best in you. Not vice-versa.

You gotta stop playing mind games with the boys. Do your thing and he will come.

Dressing your age, it isn’t about other people but you. Dress smartly but choose what suits your bosy.

Less is always more. But sometimes more is also more when it comes to accessorizing.

That aside, Jordan Christy, the author of the book must understand that thongs, dancing on top of the bar table, facebook lives and outrageous behaviour is good as long as it’s not harming anyone.

Picture Courtesy: Manga art by Tamtamchan. I love Manga.

10 Statement Necklaces that Rock the Runway

If there's anything that tops the list in the accessory department, it's the very stylish statement necklace. It's a one-off piece, one that guards and adds onto the entire dress making it more fashionable and unique. Statement necklaces are not made to make the outfit look more attractive, in fact they're made to overpower the outfit, overrun the fabric and to keep the eyes trained on the prize. The spring-summer has seen more statement necklaces than any other season, so go ahead, take a look at the catwalk choices. In a country like India where accessories are king, it's easy to find anything ethnic or chunky from the street shopping expeditions. It's all about catching the right neclace and teaming it with the right clothes. Caution one: Never go matching-matching. Pink dress with pink shoes, are a big no-no. Caution two: Try primary colours to show off your statement necklaces. Black, brown, blue.... Caution three: Be prepared to rest your chic-ness factor on the necklace, it can actually make or break an outfit.

Now here's a list of my favourite necklaces from the catwalks.

Show: Just Cavalli.
This ombre pink necklace isn't for the faint-hearted. It's my favourite piece in the entire gamut of catwalk trends. Wear it on blacks and neutrals are you're the star of the day.

Show: Moschino

Pearls in a cluster is what I call it. Very interesting, very bold and yet extremely subtle for a statement necklace. The white-ness adds to the classiness of the entire look. Definitely wear with any colour, the piece can pull off even a yellow.

Show: Lanvin

Utter minimalistic, yet glance-worthy, Lanvin has made sure they keep their style chunky and funky. The colour of the necklace doesn't dominate the outfit but yet, at the same time, the outfit can be called crap if it doesn't have an ounce of necklace in it. Such is subtlety.

Show: Catherine Malandrino
We have all seen this beauty strutted out on cardboard-made necks in silver and antique shops in Dilli Haat and Colaba, but we have not understood what it can do for your wardrobe. Wear it big, bold and brazen around your neck and stones always add that little matt glint here just so it doesn't take away the glam of the dress.



Show: Anna Sui
My favourite designer, Anna makes anything look good once the necklaces are on. In fact, her entire collection is made up of very tribal, very indian, very african pieces. I'm sure we see these pieces, with red stones or a wayward green on the pavement shops in Colaba, but we never bother picking up. The blue here, adds that dreaminess to the entire outfit.


Show: Ralph Lauren

Everyone who loves jewellery in India has encountered kundans, polkis and stone jewellery. But we, the modernists are scared of them. While the west embraces the craft, we dwiddle our thumbs and opt for the small tiffany-type chains. No more! Be bold and take on the wild side, with mom's custom-made jewellery. Wear in on a black dress and you're set for the day.



Show: DKNY

A show of metal might make your wardrobe this season. Try mixing a number of chains, a lot of coin junk, metal scraps and a healthy attitude, and lo, you're in statement necklace heaven.


Show: Chanel
Truly spring-summer in their looks, the Chanel necklaces can be recognised a mile away. The foliage with the enamel and the vibrant colours make you remember them long after they're gone into your jewellery box. Mostly a day necklace. Choose a darker one for the night.

Show: Louis Vuitton
Africa-inspired, woody and chunky, Louis Vuitton aced up a notch this summer with the ideal accessory for India. An accessory that can be bought anywhere in primary colours of red, black and brown. The look is mighty, smooth and highly compliment-worthy with minimal effort.

Show: Dries Van Noten
Shiny disco balls are what it is, when you look at it, the first time. But that's what keeps the eyes going back for more of it. The chunky necklace of metallic sheen is out to take over accessiory land, if you're not the one wearing it. So go and grab.

The Go Green Campaign

It’s green and it’s hot. Maybelline New York, my altogether favourite cosmetic giant has come up with a new play thing for all makeup addicts like me. This thing called DEFINE - A - LASH mascara is for the woman who wishes for clump-free long lashes. By far, my personal favorites have been L’oreal Volume Shocking – which really gives you gigantic lashes and stays through the night, Chambor Curl Plus – that gives you extra big lashes coupled with waterproof effects, Estee Lauder Magnascopic – extremely desirable, comes in pocket sizes and makes your eyes look big subtle-ly. But this new green thing is no joke in the makeup department, its attractive and super-glam new. Priced at Rs 280, its so cheap and yet damn neat for a quick brush-up on a glam date. And oh, its waterproof too. Perfect for the upcoming monsoons.

Animal Instincts on Sale

This really impressed me. Amrapali, the designer jewellery brand, is really something. It’s fascinating that whenever I have gone to the store I have found really funky and unique designs. Amrapali always symbolized unique craftsmanship for me. Whether it’s a 500 buck pendant or a 5 grand necklace, it’s good to have one special something in your wardrobe from Amrapali. The new collection is a mix of gold and silver, a mix of matt and burnished, a mix of rough and smooth and a mix of precious and non-precious stones. Inspired by animal skin textures, forms, fish fins, bird feathers etc, the cuffs, earrings and bracelets are something you’ll never see anywhere else. Team them with a boho shift or a bandini dupatta and you’re done. Range is all price on request. Last year we saw Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore and even Brad Pitt sport some Amrapali. Save up for a signature piece now.

Addresses:

Amrapali, Phoolwari Cottage, Near Prithvi Theatre, Juhu Road, Mumbai. Tel: 2612 5001

Amrapali Jewels, 39, Khan Market, New Delhi. Ph: 51752025

P.S I miss Delhi so much. I want Khan Market and its pani puris, stationery, Puma Store, Good Earth and all those nice pet stores and cheap jewellery stores now!

Love, labels, lust, life, lingerie and more

Love’s like a runway but which one do I love more
No emotional baggage, just big bags filled with Dior

Love’s like a runway, so what’s all the fussing for
Let’s stop chasing them boys and shop some more

-Fergie

Things I loved about SATC:

The fashion. I mean, you can get away from every trouble and anxiety in life with fashion. No wonder its therapeutic in every way. And more so when you see the Oscar De La Rentas, the Bagborroworsteal.com’s exquisite Chanels or the Manolos in bright royal blue. Tears of fashion is a good feeling to have. It’s amazing how work stress, Relationship-stress and plain general stress refuses to give them any bad hair and wardrobe days. I guess after all, fantasy is thrilling than reality.

The friendship. The girlfriends and the heartbreak. It's so relatable especially if you’re away from friends, in a strange city, dealing with lows and highs and extinguishing all grief with one sugar free cappuchino from the nearby CCD. Which reminds me of my favourite saying, “Boys come and go, but girlfriends stay forever”. Here’s to all of my beautiful, wonderful pals who’ve made life more than just a rollercoaster ride.

The Happily Everafter. No matter what you are, no matter what you become and no matter how life goes, we all want that happy ending. And in our hearts, we know that we need love like a fish to water, we want to ride away into the sunset with the prince with a smile on our content faces. The glass slipper is where it all began. And where it will all end. Which also explains the shoe fetish that women have. Maybe it will be all that women are looking for, love and a pair of excellent dreamy shoes. I am a genius! I just explained a complicated theory on psychology and shoes.

Some labels are best left in the closet. So true. It tells me that labels are just there to tell you about the quality of workmanship and design-creativity and not here to add to your sense of self-worth. Self-worth comes from bigger things than just plain labels, it comes from being able to buy your own drinks and investing in real estate with your own hard earned money. And not to forget, handling breakups with the air of “fuck you, am fabulous”!

The obscure but really thought-provoking dialogues. For example, “Things happen only when you stop trying” or “You have tried to change yourself too much to suit the person you are with”. I heart nice dialogues. They become great subtexts for lessons in everyday life.

The biggest and best relationship as Samantha says is the one you have with yourself. And that's how life should be. No, am not advocating arrogance, selfish behaviour or eternal singledom. But to have a meaningful relationship with someone, you got to first tell yourself that you're really the best. You're fabulous and lovely, and if people have to be dragged to the altar to marry you then shove them away. And you gotta strive to keep your self-esteem intact. Afterall it's when you love yourself that you can love someone else.

Things I hated about SATC:

Product placement. I mean how much of a capitalistic onslaught can you take. They’re everywhere, the labels, the drama with a tinge of Vivienne Westwood and Vogue back to backs. Really! What do they take us for? A bunch of goldfish with the shortest memory span?

The drama. It’s true, its true, women love being drama queens but you could really cut us some slack. I mean, we cry sometimes but we don’t want to be forced to cry. You get it? A woman needs to know that heartbreak can be dealt with in a sensible, nice way and not by extensive copius tears thrown in for good measure just to show us some more Ralph Lauren bedsheets. No, I object! It’s like clichedom all over again.

The screenplay. It was long and unnecessarily inundated with weird sexual connotations. It ceased to be as carefree, comic and interesting as the series. It proceeded to make a mincemeat of every man, every wedding, every marriage and everything. I mean whatever happened to discretion. We like chick flicks but dumbing down just to get us to happily everafter in a contrived manner cannot be tolerated.

Big. I don’t want to see Carrie with a 50 above year old fat man who cannot commit to a sensible relationship and promise to stick to her forever. I mean, what does he have that he deserves so much? If the man can’t take you to the altar, your ideas of future are just different. And how can we deal or negotiate with that?

And I don’t care if the only label that matters is love and you want to wear a label-less gown but dude, you look terrible. It’s the single best moment of your life and you’re wearing label-less and ugly-looking stuff. How will your grandchildren feel?

The compromises. The excuses and the running after men. Somehow it made women look like they're willing to put up with anything just to get hooked. And you need not! You don't need to give excuses, feel for them, make compromises etc to land a man in your home. If you're 40 doesn't mean you're willing to die to get your man. Chill, they're other really handsome, good-in-bed fish who are willing to do anything just to 'be' with you 'forever'.

Whether it’s Charlottes smile and figure while she’s gymming in Mexico or Carrie’s toned arms while carrying shopping bags home, why does 40 mean having to choose between fat and ugly or bald and paunchy? Here are four women who are successful, hot and have good taste and all they get is hideous and one foot in the grave men? And no, one cannot propose with a Manolo diamante, you need a real diamond ring, you idiot.

And Carrie, I liked Aidan more than Big. He was a nice guy, loved you, followed protocol and was willing to do anything for you. And no, he was handsome, non-gay, non-metrosexual and not a wuss. So, why is it hard for you to have him? Does Big signify everything thats unreachable? does Big represent everything you wanted and could never get? Is that why you want him, just beacuse he's unavailable?

Hungry thoughts?

Why is it that we have heartbreaks and insecurities if we have Jimmy Choos and LV bags? No, I believe money is not enough, but it can sure buy you a holiday in Mexico and help you tackle unhappiness with opaque tights by Chanel? Innit?

Why should the mention of "marriage" rake in so much fuss? Why should we drag a man hook, line and sinker to make him yours forever? Why should we reassure a man so much to marry us, why should we convince him so much that we're worth the dough? I have married someone who did not make a big fuss about it. He just thought he wanted to be with me and if marrying is the way to do it, then so be it. So, there are others who want to marry and live with you wholeheartedly. So why do we always choose the ones on the other side? Is saying "marriage is bullshit, the new fashion fad?

That’s about it I guess.

Fantastic and Fabuloso,

Me